07 November 2012

So, Yeah. That Happened.

This is probably the only place I'll ever get to say this, and I know for certain that I'll regret posting it in a matter of no meaningful time.  I usually do when I feel like this.  That's okay. Congratulations to the winners and all that jazz. I'd say sorry that it sounds insincere and bitter, but you know what? Screw it.  You're gonna spike the ball and spike the ball, and I'm gonna be fucking bitter.  I work in a damn call center, and I thought that was about as cynical as it gets.  Boy, what a fool I was.  TIL, though. TIL.

Want to know what I learned today?

I learned it doesn't matter a fig which party wins and which one doesn't.  It doesn't make a lick of difference in the world I live in.  So the election happened. So what?  One rich dude is more popular than another rich dude. Hoo-fucking-ray.  And to me, at my level of existence?  Nothing changes. Nothing ever changes at this level.  The election was today, and tomorrow, just like every other goddamn day, I'll go back to eking out an existence on the bottom rungs, half a paycheck away from complete and total disaster.  Sometimes I'm just glad I paid cash for my car.  It doesn't take much to put me out of my warm bed and into my car. Permanently.  And does the election of this rich guy or that rich guy change it?  Nope. Never has, never will.

I'd desperately love to be in a place where it mattered, but as time passes, that seems less and less likely.  Hey, Scrooge. Welcome to the surplus population.  Neither side wants my votes, no one actually cares what people at my level of life want or need.  They wouldn't know how to help even if they did.  Or they wouldn't be willing to. Not enough political capital in the poverty line.

So fuck 'em all.  I was an independent.  I was something like a libertarian.  Now, not so much.  Not an anarchist. Nothing so...self-righteous.

Nope. Now I'm just a nihilist.  The ultimate independant. Who gives a rat's ass?

This election is over. But after the dems get done spiking the ball and the repubs get done questing and post-morteming, it'll be christmas recess.  And then it's Jan 20, and the new guys take office. Or the old guys. Whatever.

Then, after the state of the union, (another sick joke perpetrated by people who don't care on people who should damn well know better by now), campaign 2014 will kick into high gear. And you only wish I was kidding. You and I both know, gentle reader, that we'll be lucky if we get six weeks of anything resembling actual work out of the fuckheads we just sent to washington.  Hell, we'll be lucky to get one week of anything out of them other than the same regurgitated shit they feed us every day.

HL Mencken said democracy was the idea that the people know what they want and deserve to get it, good and hard.  Well, here we are.  Bent over, lubed up, and ready to take it. Again.

And don't give me this I voted for kodos bullshit, you damn fuckwit.  It wouldn't have bloody well mattered. It never fucking matters anymore.

I'd leave the country, but where would I go?  Not like the rest of the world wants us around anyway.  Not like I can afford to leave.  I can barely pay rent. How'm I supposed to move? Mobile society...Easy to be mobile when you're living out of your damn car. And yes, I do plan for that.  If I have a bad week, that's where I'll be the next month. People say take a vacation.  Can't. Gotta work.  Don't have time for a nervous breakdown. Can't afford the luxury of going insane.  Just going to work until there isn't enough of me left to draw breath.  I know I'll never retire.  I'm pretty sure that I'll never own my own home. I guess I'm starting to make peace with my failure.  Maybe a little bit.

Once I'm done working for my student loan companies, then maybe it can end.  Then maybe I can put aside enough to get a gun, and some ammo.  And that can be the end... There's a lovely new twist on the christmas carol for you.  Scrooge realises he is the surplus population and hangs himself from his silk bed curtains like we all know we should.

I suppose it's unfair to blame this all on the election, though that was certainly the catalyst.

I always thought of myself as smart and rational.  But I'm not. Not really. Just deluded like every other person who voted.  It didn't matter what you did today, because it won't change anything either way.  It was never going to.  The Law of Entropy demands that society, like everything else, decline and fade away into chaos. And there was never anything we could do to stop it.

And I find myself further deluding myself with regrets that are not my own, but wander through my brain. Maybe this, maybe that. Somehow all this is my fault. Somehow all that is wrong with the world is my fault, because I'm not good enough, or passionate enough, or...whatever.

You go vote for whoever like you.  I don't care anymore. I have more important things to do. I need to work, I need to feed my household.  I need to maintain.  I don't have time for national issues. I don't have time for city issues. From now on, I have time for local issues. And by local, I mean my extremely local.  If I know you, good. If I don't, go get bent on your own damn time.  I don't care anymore what happens to the country, because I can't spare it any thought. I need to worry about ME, and MINE.

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